The Sweet Spot: Suffering, Pleasure and the Key to a Good Life
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- Create Date：2022-06-24 09:51:40
- Update Date：2025-09-13
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- Author：Paul Bloom
- ISBN：1529111064
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Summary
Why do we seek out painful experiences？ From horror movies and roller-coaster rides to marathon running， from S&M to religious violence and – most painful of all – parenthood， humans are drawn irresistibly to activities that they know are going to hurt。
In The Pleasures of Suffering one of the world’s best known psychologists gathers together the latest science to explain why， and to present a radical new account of human behaviour。 Drawing on studies of the evolutionary value of play and the science of morality， he identifies the desire for meaning as being far greater than our desire for happiness， overturning long-held assumptions about our species。
Endlessly fascinating and counter-intuitive， this is a deeply humane and enlightening enquiry， packed with unexpected insight into the human condition。
In The Pleasures of Suffering one of the world’s best known psychologists gathers together the latest science to explain why， and to present a radical new account of human behaviour。 Drawing on studies of the evolutionary value of play and the science of morality， he identifies the desire for meaning as being far greater than our desire for happiness， overturning long-held assumptions about our species。
Endlessly fascinating and counter-intuitive， this is a deeply humane and enlightening enquiry， packed with unexpected insight into the human condition。
Reviews
Ansell
，
The author doesn’t have a new and certainly not an interesting take on this subject， he just reviews the literature lightly and then serves up a couple of bland platitudes about how you can have both pleasure and meaning。 Gee， thanks！
Abhishek
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great read。 separates happiness and meaning。 Really enjoyed it
helena
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ironic that i suffered through a book on the value of suffering
Sara Goldenberg
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I liked it！ Good author！
Liam Lalor
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Pleasure。 Pain。 Hedonism。 Masochism。 Suffering as a spectrum; a balance。 The need for adversity。 Obstacle。 Solitary suffering v。 communal suffering。 Life is vapid without measured suffering。 Life is fraught and agonizing when the suffering is meaningless。 Writing - 6。5Content - 7。5Force - 6
Chen Ann Siew
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Balance between pleasure and purpose， joy and meaning。 Chosen suffering can enhance pleasure， and meaningful pursuits often involve some amount of struggle。 Heavy reference to works in psychology and behavioral science。
Lisa F
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Didn't finish， I didn't find it as insightful as I had hoped Didn't finish， I didn't find it as insightful as I had hoped 。。。more
Ray Mathew
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Bloom made deeply interesting and relevant arguments throughout this work of literature。 Pain is part of everyone's existence and we each develop our own personal relationship to suffering based on our capacity to survive and make meaning。 Despite this truth， we rarely discuss the nuances in these relationships such as the topic of benign masochism or the moral desire to suffer for greater good。 Highly recommend to anyone looking for an informative summer read :） Bloom made deeply interesting and relevant arguments throughout this work of literature。 Pain is part of everyone's existence and we each develop our own personal relationship to suffering based on our capacity to survive and make meaning。 Despite this truth， we rarely discuss the nuances in these relationships such as the topic of benign masochism or the moral desire to suffer for greater good。 Highly recommend to anyone looking for an informative summer read :） 。。。more
Dan Connors
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Can you have too much pleasure in life？ Does a life of leisure and pleasure-seeking leave one empty and unfulfilled？ And does an occasional bout of struggle or suffering propel us into more meaningful lives？ These questions and more are looked at in this thought-provoking book by psychologist Paul Bloom。 Human beings can be complicated characters- craving sex and sugar in one minute and then subjecting themselves to pain and degradation in the next？ How do you explain the popularity of sad movi Can you have too much pleasure in life？ Does a life of leisure and pleasure-seeking leave one empty and unfulfilled？ And does an occasional bout of struggle or suffering propel us into more meaningful lives？ These questions and more are looked at in this thought-provoking book by psychologist Paul Bloom。 Human beings can be complicated characters- craving sex and sugar in one minute and then subjecting themselves to pain and degradation in the next？ How do you explain the popularity of sad movies， extreme sports， or Sado-Masochism？ Paul Bloom is a Yale professor of psychology and cognitive science， where， according to Goodreads， "His research explores how children and adults understand the physical and social world， with special focus on morality， religion， fiction， and art。" I loved the title of this book， as it's a central idea in the pursuit of balance and harmony。 Extremes of pain and pleasure don't serve us well， but finding a balance， or sweet spot， is what gives us both meaning and satisfaction。 The author says that some forms of chosen suffering are valuable in life。 To attain real achievement， we all have to subject ourselves to hard work， struggles， and obstacles that need to be overcome。 Sometimes this involves physical pain， but often it involves inconvenience， mental effort， or expanding our comfort zones。 Think about the most meaningful things in your life- children， diplomas， work accomplishments， milestones- the most important ones often came from the hardest struggles。 While some types of chosen suffering are recreational- like going to a haunted house or seeing a sad movie， the more meaningful types involve extended effort and sacrifice around work， family， or community。 Bloom looks at why we choose to subject ourselves to unpleasant things like hot super-spicy wings， BDSM， cold baths， horror movies， or fraternity hazing。 There is a theory that brief periods of "safe" pain that leaves no lasting damage makes us feel better in contrast once it is removed。 Pain and suffering can focus the mind， or it can extinguish the mind as the self gets consumed by a ritual or powerful feeling。 Sometimes the thrill that comes with pain or threat of danger is accompanied by endorphins and natural highs that make the pain seem worthwhile。 We all have a different sweet spot， and we all yearn for challenges that are invigorating but not too much so。 The dividing line between boredom and exhaustion is hard to define， but finding that flow is what makes our lives the most satisfying。 Too much leisure or too much struggle can destroy a person。 We all need to find an acceptable level of suffering to produce meaning in our lives。 You don't need to go to war， found a business， or have twelve children to create optimal meaning。 Sometimes it's small acts of kindness that make the most difference。 The author describes meaningful activity as something that moves us toward a goal that impacts the world， creates belonging， and expands the self。 Would you rather stay in an ice hotel in Canada or a beach resort in Florida？ One could be tough but very memorable and meaningful， while the other would be pleasant but eventually forgettable。 The idea that unchosen suffering makes us better is debatable。 The author tells stories of people who've experienced horrible traumas， but look back on them as the best thing that's ever happened。 In the face of tragedy， there is enormous effort to find the silver lining。 We want to know that people didn't die for nothing。 So we construct powerful stories that try to balance out the pain。 But the bottom line is that real trauma like war， rape， gun violence， or bullying leaves lasting psychological damage， especially if prolonged。 Sometimes unchosen suffering makes us more resilient and self-confident， but other times it makes us feel awful about ourselves and the world。 With chosen suffering， we get to control our pain somewhat， which gets us to the sweet spot much faster。 Those who've never experienced struggle or vulnerability are at a loss for what to do when something actually happens to them。 We all need to build resilience in the face of inevitable hardships， and that is the message of the sweet spot。 Nothing of value comes by just stumbling upon it。 Relationships must be built and negotiated。 Businesses must be able to overcome all sorts of trials and tribulations。 Even our body has to be able to get sick and repair itself multiple times in our lives。 And without the feelings of sadness， we would never get to appreciate joy。 This is an interesting book full of powerful thoughts， though I doubt most will read it because watching a kitten video on YouTube is much easier and simpler。 Hopefully each of us will stumble upon our own sweet spots as we go through life。 The pursuit of pleasure only is an empty and lonely one， and the pursuit of pain is self-destructive。 But in the right combination， these two can work miracles。 。。。more
Hanna Tomasdotter Lexfors
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Interesting read！ It feels a little weird rating a non-fiction since it’s read for learning and not just for enjoyment… However it was enjoyable and I felt like I flew through it whenever I picked it up。 After each chapter I put it down and discussed with my husband。 I really felt that I learned something about myself and the role suffering plays in our lives。
John
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This book is anti-toxic positivity。 It does a good job referencing a lot of good articles and concepts; Tyler Cowen-isms， Flow， Man's Search for Meaning， The Power of Meaning， Lost Connections， The Second Mountain （David Brooks）。 Enlightenment Now （Stephen Pinker） Zizek vs。 Peterson， Tribes （Sebastian Junger）， Stumbling onto Happiness， Daniel Kahneman， Alan Watts， Venus in Furs， Boredom （Moby Dick， Satie's Vexations， Ragner's Ring， The Disintegreation Loops， Slow Cinema）， Matrix。 John Kraukeur， This book is anti-toxic positivity。 It does a good job referencing a lot of good articles and concepts; Tyler Cowen-isms， Flow， Man's Search for Meaning， The Power of Meaning， Lost Connections， The Second Mountain （David Brooks）。 Enlightenment Now （Stephen Pinker） Zizek vs。 Peterson， Tribes （Sebastian Junger）， Stumbling onto Happiness， Daniel Kahneman， Alan Watts， Venus in Furs， Boredom （Moby Dick， Satie's Vexations， Ragner's Ring， The Disintegreation Loops， Slow Cinema）， Matrix。 John Kraukeur， Camus and the Myth of Sisyphus， Rituals， We aren't built to be happy， the hedonic treadmill， Utopian ideals， etc。 1。 Attainable Goals， 2。 Sub-goals=some indication of progress 3。） Mastery 4。） Social contact， comradery， and competition。 5。） Collections Improvements can be found in 1。） Appreciation of Life （Gratitude） 2。） Relationship with others （connection）。 3。） New possibilities in life （novelty）， 4。） Personal strength 5。） Spiritual Change The book ends quoting Brave New World;"We prefer to do things comfortably。。。""But I don't want comfort。 I want god， I want poetry， I wan real danger， I ant freedom， I want goodness。 I want sin"。 。。。more
Tonya Mitchell
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My kind of jam。 An assortment of many fruits conserved and potted and the tenuous continuum of sweet to tart examined。 Real world application offered and study-verified sans condiment references。
Brenna Rueschhoff
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3。5
P。
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Not a popular book but definitely taught me so many things about the feelings I knew I have but didnt know why。 It talks about so many instances in your life that we all experienced but not exactly sure what was the reason behind it。。。 Like why we like crying when watching a sad movie， or why we want to bite a cute baby！ Two chapters of this book worth reading: Benign Masochism and Meaning。
Michael
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I really liked Paul Bloom’s sweet spot。 I am naturally interested in his 3 main topics which are: 1。 The meaning of life2。 Pleasure’s role in our life And most importantly，3。 The role of suffering in human life。 Paul’s writing style was digestible and flowed well， but was always backed up with science， and I appreciated that he gave caveats when studies could skew a wrong answer， like the suvivorship bias。 Overall， Bloom makes an excellent case for why chosen suffering adds to a life of meaning。 I really liked Paul Bloom’s sweet spot。 I am naturally interested in his 3 main topics which are: 1。 The meaning of life2。 Pleasure’s role in our life And most importantly，3。 The role of suffering in human life。 Paul’s writing style was digestible and flowed well， but was always backed up with science， and I appreciated that he gave caveats when studies could skew a wrong answer， like the suvivorship bias。 Overall， Bloom makes an excellent case for why chosen suffering adds to a life of meaning。 He talks about social connection， personal satisfaction， and how the human psyche deals with suffering。 His topics are wide ranging from BDSM， to war and rape。 I don’t feel like I’ve learned any “jaw dropping” new facts from his book， but I’ve certainly helped solidify what a meaningful life looks like and suffering’s role in such a life。 I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with suffering， or anyone interested in hedonism vs meaning。 。。。more
Kiersten
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The concept that we are not built to be happy and that pain is merely information about what is wrong as well as an inducement to make things better， is very insightful to me。 I furthermore appreciated the exploration of the idea that there is a "sweet spot" pertaining to the balance of pleasure and pain， or rather a healthy balance of things which are not too easy nor too difficult for us， which in turn creates flow。 I enjoyed this read， although finding some of its information to be a bit vagu The concept that we are not built to be happy and that pain is merely information about what is wrong as well as an inducement to make things better， is very insightful to me。 I furthermore appreciated the exploration of the idea that there is a "sweet spot" pertaining to the balance of pleasure and pain， or rather a healthy balance of things which are not too easy nor too difficult for us， which in turn creates flow。 I enjoyed this read， although finding some of its information to be a bit vague and repetitive。 Overall， the topics addressed were interesting， but I wished Bloom went just a little bit more in depth with them。 。。。more
Jessica
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I was excited to read this treatise on "motivational pluralism"--our seemingly incompatible drives towards BOTH pleasure and pain--since these are points that I talk about almost every day:-We seek momentary happiness/sensory pleasures--BUT excessive pursuit of selfish gratifications can become boring and isolating-AND we're also often perplexingly drawn to states of pain/suffering （whether the "benign masochism" of spicy food or scary movies， or the extended torments of mountain climbing， gradu I was excited to read this treatise on "motivational pluralism"--our seemingly incompatible drives towards BOTH pleasure and pain--since these are points that I talk about almost every day:-We seek momentary happiness/sensory pleasures--BUT excessive pursuit of selfish gratifications can become boring and isolating-AND we're also often perplexingly drawn to states of pain/suffering （whether the "benign masochism" of spicy food or scary movies， or the extended torments of mountain climbing， graduate school， child-rearing， etc）--BUT risk getting trapped in patterns of martyrdom or self-injury-Challenging experiences and suffering （especially when freely chosen） can:--give one's existence a sense of meaning--decrease the boredom of pure hedonism by creating novelty/excitement--enhance pleasure via contrast--strengthen resilience and the ability to surmount future obstacles--generate social bonding and signal belonging/worth via group rituals--provide empathy and perspective--even imagined suffering allows one to practice coping skills; fictional depictions of "villains" allow us to engage our moral/revenge-oriented drives from a safe distanceAnd so a satisfying life requires both some measures of pleasure and struggle in balance。 That balance in what constitutes a meaningful life is specific to each person， and though there are common themes， there is not one abstract universal "meaning" one can seek。Critiques:-SO much evolutionary psych， rife with its usual fallacies--much of the reasoning seems like a bit of a stretch-some gaps in his understanding of BDSM subspace/altered states （and there's some good research out there！）， as well as the erotic mind （power exchange， the "troublesome turn-ons" in Jack Morin's research）-he doesn't seem deeply informed enough about Buddhist principles of non-attachment to state that they exclude caring for one's own family-disagree that kindness is uniquely human and requires a "theory of mind"-disagree that autistic people lack theory of mind and hence empathy--outdated prejudice of neurotypical researchersOverall interesting and quite digestible！ 。。。more
Florence
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This was not exactly inspiring or groundbreaking but it made for an entertaining read。 I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。 All opinions are my own。
Nikhil
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I will Gpay 11 rupees to anyone who can explain to me why this book was written in the first place。 I find books on positive psychology entertaining to read and the author has indeed cited Martin Seligman， as one of the influences on this book。 I wish he was influenced more。 The author cites a wide array of sources from Roy Baumeister to Robert Nozick to drive home some hazy ideas。 This is a book which could have been a blog post or a bad wizards podcast。 I have lost 660 odd rupees buying this b I will Gpay 11 rupees to anyone who can explain to me why this book was written in the first place。 I find books on positive psychology entertaining to read and the author has indeed cited Martin Seligman， as one of the influences on this book。 I wish he was influenced more。 The author cites a wide array of sources from Roy Baumeister to Robert Nozick to drive home some hazy ideas。 This is a book which could have been a blog post or a bad wizards podcast。 I have lost 660 odd rupees buying this book。 I should have got my living room AC serviced with that money instead。 Paul Bloom would be happy to know I have indeed found the sweet spot and discovered the pleasures of suffering emanating from lost money。 。。。more
Angie
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Definitely worth reading。 Interesting concepts and interesting views of the world/life。
Whitney Ellison
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I believe it was first the Buddha who explained that life is suffering。 But it takes a middle aged white male from the 21st century to reiterate this with his modem personal antidotes and citations from other modern mostly white， western researchers to make it worth considering。 At least that is what one would believe if they didn’t have exposure to eastern religion and understanding。 This book was very unoriginal and disappointing。 I recommend investigating the Four Truths - ancient Buddhist te I believe it was first the Buddha who explained that life is suffering。 But it takes a middle aged white male from the 21st century to reiterate this with his modem personal antidotes and citations from other modern mostly white， western researchers to make it worth considering。 At least that is what one would believe if they didn’t have exposure to eastern religion and understanding。 This book was very unoriginal and disappointing。 I recommend investigating the Four Truths - ancient Buddhist texts， or at least the abridged version thereof。 To be fair， the section on the choice to have children and how that can simultaneously deliver meaning and suffering did engage me， as a mother of young kids。 But I always feel disappointed when Eastern philosophy and religious texts are overlooked or western-washed into the guise of being original topics or ground breaking， Ted-Talk worthy ideas。 It doesn’t sit well。 。。。more
Daniel
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There is a Yin and Yang of Happiness; a sweet spot between pleasure and pain。 This book illustrates this concept with many scientific studies。 Bloom takes a highly scientific approach， tearing apart studies with survivor biases。 1。 Money beyond 60k a year will not further improve your mood。 However， the sky is the limit for life satisfaction。 2。 There is no happiness without unhappiness。 3。 People are generally happy， but think other people are not。 4。 Meaning is also important and it is correla There is a Yin and Yang of Happiness; a sweet spot between pleasure and pain。 This book illustrates this concept with many scientific studies。 Bloom takes a highly scientific approach， tearing apart studies with survivor biases。 1。 Money beyond 60k a year will not further improve your mood。 However， the sky is the limit for life satisfaction。 2。 There is no happiness without unhappiness。 3。 People are generally happy， but think other people are not。 4。 Meaning is also important and it is correlated with happiness。 People who sacrifice or work hard for a cause are judged to have a more meaningful life。 5。 Flow or living in the moment gives peak performance。 6。 People seek out negative experiences （self flagellation， fasting， marathon， horror movies， BDSM） and can actually enjoy those activities。 Partly because the joy after them feel more intense。 Partly because we put value in suffering （that’s why boot camps and hazing are everywhere）。 7。 Some anecdotes suggested negative life experiences can spur growth。 However Bloom is skeptic so of studies that showed these as there were no control group。 It happens that people can also grow/find God etc even when life is normal。 8。 When reminded to look for happiness， people actually become less happy。 I’m happy that I read this book！ 。。。more
Jordan
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Much like his last book "Against Empathy"， Paul Bloom questions some of our most basic assumptions about what is or isn't good for us。 I felt that the "The Sweet Spot" didn't necessarily argue for a specific way of viewing pleasure， suffering， or meaning， but instead exposes holes in narrow theories about any one of them。 He persuasively details the limits of hedonism， while simultaneously emphasizing the importance of pleasure， and the cruciality of meaning。 Perhaps his book is better described Much like his last book "Against Empathy"， Paul Bloom questions some of our most basic assumptions about what is or isn't good for us。 I felt that the "The Sweet Spot" didn't necessarily argue for a specific way of viewing pleasure， suffering， or meaning， but instead exposes holes in narrow theories about any one of them。 He persuasively details the limits of hedonism， while simultaneously emphasizing the importance of pleasure， and the cruciality of meaning。 Perhaps his book is better described as an argument against a rigid， zero-sum battle of pleasure vs suffering， where meaning has to choose a side。 。。。more
Nazrul Buang
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3。5 stars。It is often thought that all people seek happiness。 It's the ultimate goal in life。 And yet， we find instances where people seem to be happy doing things that are supposed to make them unhappy。 Things that are unpleasant。 More specifically， things that involve pain and suffering。 Why do we do such things？ Psychologist Paul Blooms seeks to understand that and explore how suffering is a fundamental source of pleasure and meaning in life。I will confess one thing: Paul Bloom is one of my f 3。5 stars。It is often thought that all people seek happiness。 It's the ultimate goal in life。 And yet， we find instances where people seem to be happy doing things that are supposed to make them unhappy。 Things that are unpleasant。 More specifically， things that involve pain and suffering。 Why do we do such things？ Psychologist Paul Blooms seeks to understand that and explore how suffering is a fundamental source of pleasure and meaning in life。I will confess one thing: Paul Bloom is one of my favorite psychologists。 I've always loved his books， from 'Just Babies' to 'Against Empathy' （especially this book）。 The main reason I'm a fan of his work is because of his hot takes: babies do have some form of morality， and for the greater good， it's better to not have full empathy。 In his latest book， he has another controversial conclusion: suffering can be a source of pleasure and meaning。If Bloom's conclusion sounds familiar， it's because it's in the same vein as other books bearing the same message。 Think books by Mark Manson， Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi， Viktor Frankl， Daniel Gilbert and Nassim Taleb。 These books are born from the tenets devised by Friedrich Nietzsche， the so-called pioneer of nihilism who put forth the idea that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger。 But what makes 'The Sweet Spot' a little different is how， in the style of 'Against Empathy'， Blooms goes to great lengths to define his terms in order to form a logical conclusion on why there is an area between pleasure and pain that we essentially strive for。Bloom explains his methodology in order to arrive at the conclusion that suffering has a purpose。 Writing in simple terms that general readers can easily understand， he makes clear distinctions in the words used， such as "pleasure"， "pain"， "suffering"， and "happy" （poser: how do you interpret "happy"？）。 From there， he extrapolates and gives concrete examples of how each word is used and then illustrates the paradox in the relationship between pleasure and pain， and suffering and meaning。While I find some parts of Bloom's explanation on finding the sweet spot enlightening， I must admit that it digresses sometimes。 I went into this book trying to understand the "sweet spot" is between pleasure and pain， but it also explores the search for meaning， which feels like it's looking at two related but different topics altogether。 It felt like I was reading two books， and thus I felt like it was unfocused at times。 Also， as I would have expected， the book isn't original with the topic （well， both topics on "sweet spot" and search for meaning）。 The topics are basically no different from Csikszentmihalyi's concept of flow， and Frankl's search for meaning。 It's simply Bloom's take on topics that have been extensively discussed for decades， so no surprises that this book doesn't score high on originality。'The Sweet Spot' is an addition to the growing genre of nonfiction that harp on chosen suffering and argue against the positivity movement。 It's far from original， and oftentimes it's longwinded （to be honest， the final chapter alone suffices what the book is trying to say）， but I still enjoyed what Bloom is trying to explain。 He will continue to make controversial statements and explain the reasoning behind them， and I will continue to read them with anticipation。 This book isn't his best， but there are some takeaways that are good food for thought。 。。。more
Corinne
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Some meetings could have been an email。 This is a book that could have been a blog post。 Even if it were a blog post， I might have felt that I spent too much time with this content。I read this book as a book club selection， so I assume that I would not have been drawn to this book otherwise。 I have a very hard time ditching a book I have started， but this book made me come close multiple times。 It was very hard to get through。 The material was not engaging。Ultimately， I did finish the book。 Howe Some meetings could have been an email。 This is a book that could have been a blog post。 Even if it were a blog post， I might have felt that I spent too much time with this content。I read this book as a book club selection， so I assume that I would not have been drawn to this book otherwise。 I have a very hard time ditching a book I have started， but this book made me come close multiple times。 It was very hard to get through。 The material was not engaging。Ultimately， I did finish the book。 However， the only thing I came away with was the sneaking suspicion that perhaps the author was being clever by providing something to suffer through。 。。。more
Ryan
，
In The Sweet Spot， Paul Bloom attempts to tease out a common sense understanding of contentment and satisfaction that is more illuminating than the many things we think of when we think of "happiness。"Happiness is important， but it's also a tricky concept to understand because it can refer to so many things。 Bloom distinguishes pleasure from satisfaction。 Pleasure is captured in the feeling we get when we eat freshly baked bread while satisfaction might be understood by the feeling we get when w In The Sweet Spot， Paul Bloom attempts to tease out a common sense understanding of contentment and satisfaction that is more illuminating than the many things we think of when we think of "happiness。"Happiness is important， but it's also a tricky concept to understand because it can refer to so many things。 Bloom distinguishes pleasure from satisfaction。 Pleasure is captured in the feeling we get when we eat freshly baked bread while satisfaction might be understood by the feeling we get when we bake a loaf of bread ourselves and then eat it。 At first glance， the two scenarios should be indistinguishable， but they often aren't。 For whatever reason， the work we put into the latter scenario makes that experience pleasurable and satisfying。 Here we're talking about pleasure and hedonism vs satisfaction and meaning。Many philosophers and psychologists get into trouble by boosting one of these types of contentment over the other， while Bloom argues that we have pluralistic drives。 If we spend all of our time happy， we feel a lack of meaning， while if we spend all of our time suffering in pursuit of some goal， we eventually realize we're not very happy。There's something banal about this conclusion， but I would suggest that we really do fall into the either/or trap very often。 It seems to me that much of our society is built around providing us with instant entertainment on our TV， our phone， or our laptop。 And it's also easy to see people obsessively grinding away to reach distant goals， whether that be an extreme effective altruist （see Laryssa MacFarquhar's Strangers Drowning） or a climate hawk who wants to save the world through their individual sacrifice （see Jonathan Safron Foer's We Are the Weather）。 So finding a balance is tricky and a lot of our discourse would be better devoted to suggesting to people that they're a little out of balance （e。g。 "you seem to be like 80% pleasure to 20% meaning right now and that may be why you feel a bit aimless and lost lately。"） rather than arguing over which matters more。 Note that 50:50 may not be ideal， btw。Bloom has a knack for teasing out interesting insights。 I came across at least three here， which are:1） A sense of contentment is often relative to what happened immediately before。 Bloom shares a pleasant memory of shoveling snow in Quebec before drinking hot cocoa and having a hot bath as a kid。 Another example。。。 Travelers complained less when airport managers moved the baggage claim further from the arrival gates。 Passengers were able to purposefully walk to their bags rather than idly waiting in a less inconvenient place and so complained less。2） We appear to crave boredom at some margin。 Much of our most celebrated literature consists of boring interludes。 Bloom mentions the boring taxonomy sections of Moby Dick as one example， and I found many these dull digressions in McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove （a book that I eventually rated 5 stars here on GRs）。 I also note that video games increasingly include boring obstacles。 Uncharted and Final Fantasy are both adventurous games， and yet both are filled with non-threatening side quests and banal relationship building conversations。 Why？ Perhaps because if it’s all action， all the time， the game becomes aesthetically dead。3） Bloom presents a defense of the claim that something can uniquely happen to humans relative to other species。 He just tosses it into this book， willynilly。If I was to criticize The Sweet Spot， I'd point out that I hate the title。 It's likely easy to get the gist of the book's message by listening to an interview with Bloom on the Very Bad Wizards podcast。 I found Against Empathy more interesting and it added more value to my understanding of empathy than The Sweet Spot has added to my understanding of happiness。 Then again， that may be because I have already read Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and Jon Haidt's Happiness Hypothesis。Maybe we all need works of this sort that we can return to from time to time。 If so， why not read this book？ 3。5 stars。 。。。more
Alex M。 Bendersky
，
Informative and well written。 Always learn something from Paul Bloom。
Sett Wai
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I enjoyed this one。 As far as pop philosophy/psychology goes， it's an easy and engaging read。 As another reviewer pointed out， Paul Bloom's writing is conversational in tone。 But he's also an accomplished professor so his discussion points are insightful and well backed up by loads of citations and references （almost a third of my kindle book is the bibliography）。The book dives into the role that suffering has in our lives。 How it relates to pleasure， meaning and even morality。 It gave some very I enjoyed this one。 As far as pop philosophy/psychology goes， it's an easy and engaging read。 As another reviewer pointed out， Paul Bloom's writing is conversational in tone。 But he's also an accomplished professor so his discussion points are insightful and well backed up by loads of citations and references （almost a third of my kindle book is the bibliography）。The book dives into the role that suffering has in our lives。 How it relates to pleasure， meaning and even morality。 It gave some very pragmatic insights into how one could live a good life -- but to be clear， it's a philosophy essay not a self help book。Bloom takes a "pluralistic" stance to everything， which means that he argues any points very gently and tries to give a lot of consideration to alternative views。 This might be read as a lackadaisical， shallow walkthrough of the topics presented。 But judging by the sheer count of highlights and notes I made， it's exactly what I appreciated about it 。。。more
Gretchen Schock
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I didn’t feel as though there was anything in this book that I haven’t read/heard before。 It’s an academic book being sold as self-help but reads as it’s for an academic audience。 I bet it’s required reading for his classes。 Anyhoo， if you aren’t taking his class skip this book and read a different personal development book。
Becky
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