Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

  • Downloads:9488
  • Type:Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date:2021-07-21 05:51:54
  • Update Date:2025-09-13
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Chris Voss
  • ISBN:0062872303
  • Environment:PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle

Summary

A field-tested, game-changing approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home。

Never Split the Difference is a riveting, indispensable handbook of negotiation principles culled and perfected from Chris Voss’s remarkable career as a hostage negotiator and later as an award-winning teacher in the world’s most prestigious business schools。 From policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, to becoming the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator to teaching negotiation at leading universities, Voss has tested these techniques across the full spectrum of human endeavor and proved their effectiveness。 Those who have benefited from these techniques include business clients generating millions in additional profits, MBA students getting better jobs, and even parents dealing with their kids。

Never Split the Difference provides a gripping, behind-the-scenes recounting of dramatic scenarios from the gang-infested streets of Haiti to a Brooklyn bank robbery gone horribly wrong, revealing the negotiation strategies that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives。 As a world-class negotiator, Voss shows you how to use these skills in the workplace and in every other realm of your life。

Life is a series of negotiations: whether buying a car, getting a better raise, buying a home, renegotiating rent, or deliberating with your partner, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion。

Advance praise for Never Split The Difference

“This book blew my mind。  It’s a riveting read, full of instantly actionable advice—not just for high-stakes negotiations, but also for handling everyday conflicts at work and at home。”—Adam Grant, Wharton Professor and New York Times bestselling author of originals and give and take

“Emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence without sacrificing deal-making power。 From the pen of a former hostage negotiator—someone who couldn’t take no for an answer—which makes it fascinating reading。 But it’s also eminently practical。 In these pages, you will find the techniques for getting the deal you want。”—Daniel H。 Pink, bestselling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive

“Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss has few equals when it comes to high-stakes negotiations。 Whether for your business or your personal life, his techniques work。”—Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent (Ret。) and author of the international bestseller What Every Body Is Saying

“Your business—basically your entire life—comes down to your performance in crucial conversations, and these tools will give you the edge you need。 。 。 。It’s required reading for my employees because I use the lessons in this book every single day, and I want them to, too。”—Jason McCarthy, CEO of GORUCK

 

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Reviews

Laura

Although this book is on negotiation, I think it's a solid read for anyone who leads teams and coaches others。 Beyond the interesting stories around hostage negotiations -- there are a number of helpful tools, strategies, and exercises anyone can implement to leverage and execute at work and in life。 Although this book is on negotiation, I think it's a solid read for anyone who leads teams and coaches others。 Beyond the interesting stories around hostage negotiations -- there are a number of helpful tools, strategies, and exercises anyone can implement to leverage and execute at work and in life。 。。。more

Beckiezra

Really interesting book, cool stories, helpful format for review, I started listening back at the beginning as soon as I finished。 This book made me want to get out there are negotiate something but that’s not really part of my daily life。 I’ll have to check it out when I next want to buy a car or ask for a raise。

Eric Kogut

Great storytelling intertwined with lots of practical advice - exactly what I had hoped for。 Definitely a book I see myself reading again and recommending。 Overall it paints a great picture of the conversation that happens between two negotiating parties through captivating stories while staying rooted in the strategies that Voss presents。

Nithesh S

This book was an eye-opener。 It has the potential to change the lives of people who read it。 Five important takeaways: 1) You should not avoid conflict and negotiations。 They are not harmful。 People who are negotiating are not enemies。 2) Don't compromise all the time。 If you know how to negotiate, you may not have to settle for something less。 3) Prospect Theory: We take unwarranted risks in the face of uncertain losses。 The most famous example is Loss Aversion, which shows how people are stati This book was an eye-opener。 It has the potential to change the lives of people who read it。 Five important takeaways: 1) You should not avoid conflict and negotiations。 They are not harmful。 People who are negotiating are not enemies。 2) Don't compromise all the time。 If you know how to negotiate, you may not have to settle for something less。 3) Prospect Theory: We take unwarranted risks in the face of uncertain losses。 The most famous example is Loss Aversion, which shows how people are statistically more likely to act to avert a loss than to achieve an equal gain。4) "When the pressure is on, you don’t rise to the occasion— you fall to your highest level of preparation"。 ~ Chris Voss5) You can say 'no' without actually saying 'no'。 It may be more effective than you think it is。 。。。more

Anna Fedusiv

The book is just brilliant。 Make sure to read it thoroughly while also making notes。 The author gives tons of practical advice, which is hard to implement immediately as it requires you to change your habits, but I am confident it can improve your life drastically。

Azzman20

Eh, work related read。 I gave up 70% of the way through。

Ivan Bogdan

O carte nici prea prea nici foarte foarte!

Yamama

I listened to this as an audiobook, my first audiobook, and I really enjoyed it。 It was interesting to learn all these new tips and information I had never considered before。 I do wish to get a physical copy of the book and read it with my own annotations sometimes s again in the future。

Sahar Khalid

Negotiation is an art that can't be taught through just books , it needs training and commitment just like any other skill , it needs to be practiced inorder to exile , but anyways this book is a good start , not only for those in hostage negotiation teams but for everyone who runs away from conflicts even the minors of them 。 The book discusses tactics and methods to be used to sell your products , save your beloved from kidnapping or even putting your kids to bed at night , it makes it known t Negotiation is an art that can't be taught through just books , it needs training and commitment just like any other skill , it needs to be practiced inorder to exile , but anyways this book is a good start , not only for those in hostage negotiation teams but for everyone who runs away from conflicts even the minors of them 。 The book discusses tactics and methods to be used to sell your products , save your beloved from kidnapping or even putting your kids to bed at night , it makes it known that this skills are needed in day to day life , starting from carful and activate listening , where you pay attention to what your partner/ counterpart is really saying , use sympathy to make then keep talking, mirror their acts and words and try to seem as familiar as possible since people are drawn to those who are similar to them because they think they will understand them better , use labels , sentences like " it seems like you 。。。" Or " it looks like you are saying。。。" Get them to say ' that's 'right and not 'you're right' since it usually means your counterpart is getting bored and just wants to end this conversation 。 The book then discussed Misslable what your counterpart is trying to say and ask them to correct you , make your problems their problems by asking questions like " how am i supposed to do so " 。。。ect don't say no but try the multiple steps of a gentle no to get your counterpart to bet against themselves , try to identify the black swans , the unknown unknowns that will help you to get better deals , understand your counterpart and their religion , try to know if they have a non cash profit you value , try to understand their language and speak it , and remember people aren't crazy when they don't act like you expect them to during negotiation, and when someone act that way there is either wrong informations or hidden intentions you need to identify , people have feelings and thoughts and ideas and a whole set of values and beliefs , while you are negotiating remember that you are not god , you're not always right 。 The book was good , but like all skills it needs practice so i don't know if i will stick with it's rules for so long or try them seriously , a very long book in comparison to the informations inside of it , very long stories that you have to go through in order to reach the conclusion at the end , but anyways it was good 。 。。。more

Rasha Ismail

Nothing new。 And there was a racist tone to the book。

Alireza Aghamohammadi

نویسنده کتاب عضو سابق اف。بی。آی است و مسئول مذاکره با تروریست‌ها، گروگان‌گیر‌ها و 。。。 بوده است。 در طول سال‌ها و بنا به تجربه سیستمی برای مذاکره در اف。بی。آی ایجاد کردند。 زمانی نگارنده به این ایده میرسد که آیا این سیستم مذاکره در جاهای دیگر مانند کسب‌وکار هم جواب میدهد。 پاسخ این سوال مثبت است。هدف مذاکره این نیست که فرد را قانع کنید。 بلکه هدف باید این باشد که شخص مقابل به صورت ناخودآگاه به راه‌حلی برسد که این راه‌حل همان ایده شما بوده است。یکی از کارهایی که در مذاکره باید انجام دهید استخراج اطلاعات ا نویسنده کتاب عضو سابق اف。بی。آی است و مسئول مذاکره با تروریست‌ها، گروگان‌گیر‌ها و 。。。 بوده است。 در طول سال‌ها و بنا به تجربه سیستمی برای مذاکره در اف。بی。آی ایجاد کردند。 زمانی نگارنده به این ایده میرسد که آیا این سیستم مذاکره در جاهای دیگر مانند کسب‌وکار هم جواب میدهد。 پاسخ این سوال مثبت است。هدف مذاکره این نیست که فرد را قانع کنید。 بلکه هدف باید این باشد که شخص مقابل به صورت ناخودآگاه به راه‌حلی برسد که این راه‌حل همان ایده شما بوده است。یکی از کارهایی که در مذاکره باید انجام دهید استخراج اطلاعات از طرف مقابل است و این با ابزاری به نام سوال کالیبره ممکن می‌شود。 سوال کالیبره سوال‌هایی هستند که با <<چطور>> و <<چه چیزی>> آغاز می‌شوند و جواب بله یا خیر ندارند。 این سوال‌ها چندین مزیت دارند。 مزیت اول این است که شخص مجبور به توضیح می‌شود و در این حین مقدار زیادی اطلاعات به شما می‌دهد。 مزیت دوم این است که مرزهای مذاکره مشخص می‌شود。 مثلا فرض کنید که رییستان از شما می‌خواهد که کاری انجام بدهید و تمایلی به انجام آن ندارید。 به جای آن که مستقیما نه بگویید و عواقبی برایتان داشته باشد، این سوال را بپرسید。 چطور می‌توانم این کار را انجام دهم در صورتی که فعلا درگیر کارهای دیگر شرکت هستم؟ با این سوال توهم کنترل را به رییس خود منتقل می‌کنید。 در جواب رییس شما معمولا راه‌کاری ارائه می‌دهد که می‌تواند شروع مذاکره باشد。از تکنیک آینه استفاده کنید。 دو سه کلمه مهم جمله آخر شخص مقابل را تکرار کنید。 با این کار مکالمه ادامه پیدا می‌کند و می‌توانید اطلاعات بیشتری از آن استخراج کنید。 اکثر مواقع این اطلاعات انگیزه‌های مخفی افراد را آشکار می‌کند و شما می‌توانید از آن به عنوان اهرم فشار استفاده کنید。در نهایت یادتان باشد که معامله نکردن بهتر از معامله بد است。 هرگز سازش نکنید! 。。。more

Artur

Great general book for begginers and Intermediate negotiatiors。

Wan Farisan

Excellent book on negotiation

André Borg

Essentially a book on effective human communication。 Binged it in one sitting。 No beautiful prose, fancy language or academic theories based without practical experience。 The experiential knowledge shines through, and Voss' expertise is unmistakeable。 Looking forward to using the tips, and hope to internalize them into my being and into habits。 I think to only view these as negotiation tactics is to go amiss, since they are mainly tactics to listen attentively, seek deeper meaning in human behav Essentially a book on effective human communication。 Binged it in one sitting。 No beautiful prose, fancy language or academic theories based without practical experience。 The experiential knowledge shines through, and Voss' expertise is unmistakeable。 Looking forward to using the tips, and hope to internalize them into my being and into habits。 I think to only view these as negotiation tactics is to go amiss, since they are mainly tactics to listen attentively, seek deeper meaning in human behavior and reflect understanding, and who says that is limited to negotiation? 。。。more

Richard Hume

Chris Voss breaks down negotiation into 10 different tactics to help get positive outcomes out of the challenging interactions we might face during everyday life。 His summaries of the high and low points of his high stake hostage negotiations with terrorists and kidnappers are very captivating, and the lessons he teaches from his reflections on those events provide valuable advice。 We inevitably encounter conflict or friction with other individuals in the workplace, in public and with our friend Chris Voss breaks down negotiation into 10 different tactics to help get positive outcomes out of the challenging interactions we might face during everyday life。 His summaries of the high and low points of his high stake hostage negotiations with terrorists and kidnappers are very captivating, and the lessons he teaches from his reflections on those events provide valuable advice。 We inevitably encounter conflict or friction with other individuals in the workplace, in public and with our friends and families。 This book details how to get the most out of these interactions and how to make it a pleasant negotiation from the start to finish。 I found this reading experience enjoyable and interesting; would recommend it to everyone and everyone! 。。。more

Bhagi Muppala

Lots of great examples and techniques to use!

Doug

This is a DNF。 Got about a third of the way through。 The author has plenty of experience as background and the techniques shared seemed to be valid。 The stories told to demonstrate the points were engaging but I struggled to find application in my life。 However I was also reading this and several other things so this may reflect more of a 'me' issue than one with the book。 This is a DNF。 Got about a third of the way through。 The author has plenty of experience as background and the techniques shared seemed to be valid。 The stories told to demonstrate the points were engaging but I struggled to find application in my life。 However I was also reading this and several other things so this may reflect more of a 'me' issue than one with the book。 。。。more

Christopher Paul

Very powerful lessons in which I immediately began adapting the devices into my everyday life。 Will read again and take more notes。

Douglas Liu

Great mindset

Nikita

There was a lot of advice in this book, to the point that I found it overwhelming trying to remember all of it; I had to push myself to finish the book。I also found some examples not convincing and a bit braggy。 Nonetheless, it's a well written book and I am trying to experiment with putting some of the advice into action to see for myself if it's going to help me to improve。 There was a lot of advice in this book, to the point that I found it overwhelming trying to remember all of it; I had to push myself to finish the book。I also found some examples not convincing and a bit braggy。 Nonetheless, it's a well written book and I am trying to experiment with putting some of the advice into action to see for myself if it's going to help me to improve。 。。。more

Abigail Gray

I think about this book a lot。 His advice on mirroring, labelling, and finding the "black swan," have helped me to be a better listener and communicator。 Plus his retelling of his experience in hostage negotiations is better than any action movie I've seen。 I think about this book a lot。 His advice on mirroring, labelling, and finding the "black swan," have helped me to be a better listener and communicator。 Plus his retelling of his experience in hostage negotiations is better than any action movie I've seen。 。。。more

Monique Chan

The best nonfiction/self help book I’ve read so far

Kelly

This was an incredibly interesting and useful book。 The real life examples really helped cement the information。 And as someone who dreads and generally suck at bargaining, I believe this knowledge is extremely helpful。 Plus, I really enjoyed reading it。

Vagabond of Letters, DLitt

If you read one business self-help book, or any self-help book, once, read this one - and read it twice。Very effective for product managers, people managers, and architects - any roles that must create consensus and buy-in - even if you're not an executive or salesman。 If you read one business self-help book, or any self-help book, once, read this one - and read it twice。Very effective for product managers, people managers, and architects - any roles that must create consensus and buy-in - even if you're not an executive or salesman。 。。。more

Dziyana

Wonderful and insightful guide to sales techniques

Hibo Warsame Hersi

This book will be used as reference

Bella

Not a super engaging book for me since I didn't really identify with the examples, but some useful insight nonetheless Not a super engaging book for me since I didn't really identify with the examples, but some useful insight nonetheless 。。。more

Dave Wilkins

I loved the contrast of the hostage negotiation stories against the business negotiations。 Really well put together by the author and incredibly insightful

Ramón

Great book for those who struggle with negotiation。 It gives you easy to put in practice tools that will help in every aspect of life。 We are always negotiating whether we realize it or not

Rajan Kumar

Chris has nicely shared Intitutive & practical ideas for any negotiation。 I liked the mirroring, Callibarated questions and saying no without saying no, Very much。 Every chapter comes with a scenario and then techniques to negotiate。 Had great time listening to it。